Help me please!!!!!!?

Ok so im emo but not like a freaky kind. I dont wear an inch thick of eyeliner and i dont have any piercings. All i do is cut my self. But its not like i do it every night. I only do it when im feeling really crappy and i dont deserve to have the things that i do. No one knows that i am emo and i plan on keeping ot that way. Im happy at school and with my friends but not when im at home. When im at home everyone is bigger than me and stronger and older and better than me. And i cry alot mostly about the fights i have with my parents. But also because i havnt talked to my brother in more than 6 months. His life is way worse than mine he smoked weed and lives in california. He was in the marines but got caught and was kicked out. Im pretty sure hes working in a graveyard now... but evn though my mom says she loves us all the same she loves my sister the most. My sister never does anything wrong the worst thing she ever did was get her belly button peirced which she took out. And im not being emo to be cool in fact i dont think emo is cool at all. I hate it but i just feel like i dont have the right to feel good after all the things ive done bad. Please help me!!