Help? People who know about mental health.?

Okay, so I was at my school library and I found a book on shyyness and, because I'm extremely shy, I decided to check it out. I read the signs of being a psycosomatic and the withdrawn shy person part matched me completely right. When I was younger I hated being in team sports, I skipped recess to stay in class and if the teacher kicked me out, I'd go to the library or read in the halls. I also preferred to stay alone with nothing but rock music turned up really loud, painting and drawing tools, and books. I always played board games by myself and I've always hated being outside. At first I just thought I was lazy. I've always done my homework, obeyed everyone, got my way through flattery and since like sixth grade ( last year) I've hidden my emotions. When I want to cry, I don't. I wait until I'm alone and then just let the misery eat me. When I'm angry, I imagine bad things or think bad things. I'm never truly genuinely happy and I almost never smile. Since last year, I've obsessed over how I look and I usually call myself ugly or fat, cause I am. Ever since I started seventh grade this year, I hate walking in wide open and largely populated spaces( like class and the cafeteria) and I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me, criticising me, whispering about me. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's gotten so bad, I don't even like going outside anymore. I hate being looked or stared at, being touched in any way, and I hate having my legs or arms bear. I always wear black or another dark color, and I'm always wearing a black sweater. I get headaches and I have asthma, I have a bad heart, and I don't participate in P.E because I'm scared that everyone will watch me and say " look at that fat ugly girl running around." It makes me anxious and nervous just thinking about going outside. I'm usually sad for no reason and I write disturbing stories that my teacher say are wonderful. I usually paint or draw in black and white, spending hours on art and then just ripping it up because its not good enough. I don't evn know who the hell I am. If the popular kids talk to me, I act cool and snobby, if I'm with hyperish and upbeat people, I'm hyper too. If I'm with calm quiet people, I'm like that too. I adjust myself depending on the mood of whoever I'm talking to at the moment. If I dont act like them and I act what you could describe as emoish. I love the concept of death and yet, I also like faeries and romance. I practically hyperventilate thinking about wearing shorts or even leaving my room. I prefer to talk to adults than kids my own age and speak formally, as if I was born in the seventeenth century. I get pushed around and I dont defend myself. I just glare and let it happen cause I think " It'll just happen again" and it does. I'm pretty short, not like thats a problem, but combined with the fact that I'm usually carrying like six books a day and glaring doesn't exactly help. I hate smiling or laughing and I'm usually rude to my friends. I can't help it. Lately, my grades have dropped and I've been feeling like "What's the use" and " What's the point." I think of things like " What's the point in life". I've never tried killing myself, but I have thought of it. I'm just to scared to try. There's more, but this is already really long, so I'll stop. Please tell me what's wrong with me. : ( I'm alos usually twitchy and suspicious of any one who comes near me, especially boys. I don't trust very easily and I always cover my mouth when I talk.

I need help with my sexuality?

You think having sex with a girl is gonna help you? I'm sorry but thats not smart. I found who I was attracted last year(I'm 16 going on 17) so I would wait at least 1 year ok. Hope you do they right thing.

Confused on what to do?

Well my ex-friend and i stopped being friends about a few months ago (Our fight was pretty bad.. she evn got my boyfriend to dump me too) and i just cleaned out my room and found a box of stuff i was gonna give her on graduation day (just a bunch of nick-naks and a small scrapbook) and i cant decide wether or not to put the box in her mail with a note saying its hers do wat she wants with it, or just trash it... Help plz? be honest

My LandLord is suing me need advise?

Okay My ex landlord is suing me for $5,000; however i do not owe him that amount he state i owe damage, i must confuse the only damage done to the place was the door. which cost $25 at home depot. and 3 month rent totaling 3,750. the damage should be cover in our security deposit. and plus the reason i moved as i no longer could afford it and i explain my situation. i also no longer had a lease. the apartment needed repair. the celling had fell from a leak he never looked into just cover it and leaked continue to leak. the heater in the apartment was locked by our electrician because the heater was leaking to much C02 that was haz and for two year the landlord never fixed it. the lights switch never had cover on them so it would spark up when you when turn it off sometime causing the fuse to pop. and the hallway light never were on. it was so dark in there. i never complain and when i explain i can not afford this apartment and i was willing to surrounding it,it was okay i don't mind paying him what i owe little by little but i do not owe him $5,000. i need help and advise on what should i do. or what route to go.

Which game console would be better to own?

say can anyone help me?ive been trying to convince my little brother to get an xbox360 instead of a ps3 cause i hear alotta ps3z are slow and burn out fast and are like defective..now dont get me wrong im with playstation all the way..i want him to get an xbox360 because of that fact i heard alotta the ps3z are defective and i wanna get the new silent hillz and resident evil five so haz anyone had the chance to compare these two consolez and doez anyone know which console would be better to get??thankz for the help..

Did I eat too much today?

Most likely not, all of your food choices are relatively healthy and you are getting a good amount of exercise so don't worry yourself.

I am looking for romance Amine, Where the characters end up married?

definately CLANNAD, it has a solid couple and they even get married and have a kid in the second season